OMGWTFBBQ

Hey hey all! Long time no post! Hoho. I've been slacking again. Well life in CJC's been great... I ADORE MY CLASS 1T03! All of you ROCK MY SHORT SOCKS, MY LONG SOCKS, MY NET SOCKS, MY CLEAN SOCKS AND EVEN MY DIRTY SMELLY SOCKS MAN! I mean, we're got such great class spirit, I feel almost at home.... Really love you guys... Thanks.. If I were in a different class I reckon I won't fit in because I have such a dao and bitchy attitude LMAO

WORSHIP JUDO TOO :)) Judo rocks everything la! Even my underwear and my bra (wth where did that come from?) training's addictive la. Seriously. I've become from a BUM to an exercise fanatic. Want to know the statistics? 10 push ups (guy) everyday, 30 sit ups, 50 crunches and in these two days I've run close to 8km. Sweet? There's more but I'm lazy to say.

Hoho I love my PE teacher. Okay maybe not love. I IDOLISE HIM! He ROCKS MAN! Yea he's a bit mad because first class in PE he made girls run 12 rounds around the track and for guys, 15. Then after that made us do pumping and all. The worst one was when he made us stay in guy push up position and hold it there while he yakked for 10 min. Hey, sounds easy but after a while your arms turn jelly. Don't believe me, TRY HOLDING OUT THERE. Then when he finished yakking, we had to do push-ups and shout "INVOLVE!" "IMPROVE!" "ENDURE!" "ENJOY!" And if we didn't shout it loud enough, you do it again and again till he's happy. By then I think my arms would have merged with the soil. Then well, he made us run up the grand stand steps and yell "I LOVE PE!!!!!" He's a bit psycho but hey, he's a FUNKY PSYCHO!

School work's been okay for the moment. Lit sounds scary though. 6 books if I'm not wrong? Yeesh.

Well I've made quite a lot of new friends and got to know people better these few days haha! Hmmm I don't really clique with the girls except for a few... to be honest, I clique with the guys better hehehe :)) I hope to arm wrestle them soon. FUN!

Oh ya, I got a terrible rash all over my body.. its pretty bad and I keep scratching them in my sleep so I got scars all over... eff.

Hmm I got kicked out of Guzheng today. They asked me if i would choose Judo or Guzheng and i spoke from the bottom of my heart! JUDOOOO! Oh well didnt like Guzheng anyway. Unfriendly.

Lol it was pouring like mad today on the way home from school...Umbrella didn't help so I got so sick and tired I just took off my socks and my shoes at the bus stop and walked all the way home barefoot on the road LOL! Must have been quite a sight because lots of people were staring. Surprisingly, its quite fun cause the water on the ground is warm! Oooo its like stepping into a warm bath! Adding to that, I had war with a older woman.

Seriously, if I were to name the little 'war' i had, I would call it UMBRELLA D! (Yea derived from Initial D) There she was, sashaying along a narrow path that leads to my housing estate and taking up virtually THE WHOLE PATHWAY with her umbrella. Struggling with my shoes and my lecture notes, I wanted to overtake her cause she was like CRAWLING and the longer I stayed in the rain, the more I got drenched.

And cats don't like rain.

So, I attempted to pass by on her right. Just then, SHE SWUAYED TO THE RIGHT. So I went to the left AND YES, SHE SWUAYED TO THE LEFT! So I tried a few more times, unsuccessfully. Grrr. She thinks its initial D or something, the racing game, where you drive zigzag on the tiny road to prevent your opponent from passing you. I wanted to kick her and yell "LADY! THIS PATHWAY AIN'T ENOUGH FOR THE TWO OF US!!!" or at least something to make her MOVE TO THE SIDE! Good grief, some people are just so damn inconsiderate.

They think their father or grandfather own the road.
Well I'll say my grandfather owns the LAND THAT THE ROAD IS ON.

touche.

Just so you know..

JESSE MCCARTNEY LYRICS

"Just So You Know"

I shouldn't love you but I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away

I shouldn't love you but I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away

And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop

[Chorus:]
Just so you know
This feeling's taking control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around, I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know

It's getting hard to be around you
There's so much I can't say
Do you want me to hide the feelings
And look the other way

And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop

[Chorus]

This emptiness is killing me
And I'm wondering why I've waited so long
Looking back I realize
It was always there just never spoken
I'm waiting here...been waiting here

[Chorus]

It's just not fair...

I don't know where to start...I'm really lost now....Really in shock... Everything just seems so surreal...So there I was, cutting my nails and the dragon just walked up and told me that a friend of mine just passed away...like wtf? wth? When? how? AARGGHH this is not happening... that friend's still so young and always full of life.... she always had a radiating glow and always reassured me I was special whenever my self-esteem dipped..I really don't know what to say... I keep thinking if I go back to her shop she'd still be there with a bright smile on her face...argh its all a lie...really its all not fucking fair at all...I can't even cry because I don't believe she's dead....I just can't....Because if i do, I'll remember everything all over again....ARGH FUCK LA why am I always surrounded by death!?!??!!?!?! Last year, this year, the previous previous year.....I can't take this anymore......And the worst thing was, I don't even know how she died...They told me they just found her that way...I really don't know what to say.....I just don't want to believe it....

LET ME HEAR U SCREAM CJ!!!!

Have not been updating much because of audi and orientation.Sorry to all the cat-ciains out there.

Well, it started off as IG16 and 2 leng zais and one im-ur-boy-next-door.
Now its IG3 and no leng zai but a lot of cute hey-im-ur-boy-next-door types.

Feeling a bit out though... MissyM can't really clique well with the girls and its hard to strike common conversation with guys you just meet....missing the HotPrawn and the Pelican so badly...conversation's so weak the FatCat can't even emerge and go crazy... pffbbtt...feeling sucks.

But.. looking on the brighter side of things, I got to know a few fiendly individuals in the midst of the war and turmoil:

Preeesenting....

im-ur-boy-next-door-S
Chillin'V
AmiableA

Guess i'll be talking to them more nowadays.. yeesh its hard to be myself when I feel so restricted and uncomfortable...

I MISS IJ AND MY BABES!!!!!!!!!!

HEEEEEEEELPPPPPPPPP!!!

Oh yeah, I keep glimpsing you-know-who so often its killing me. For example, anytime and EVERYTIME i turn around, you-know-who HAS to be clearly in my view... biggie no-no.... its starting to disturb me... especially when you-know-who looks oh-so-irresistable.

aaaaa FatCat misses THEBoy =(

Nothing.

Couldn't sleep. Couldn't eat. I can't even fucking breathe... bloody goddamn asthma acting up again... thats the bad thing about this freaking sickness - it acts up whenever you're upset or you're excited/hyper.

Goddamit I'm so fucking useless.

Just can't stop thinking. The more I think, the more my eyes start to water, the more i cry, the more i can't freaking sleep, the more i think. I just keep thinking why'd you let them...and whether you realy enjoyed it that much. It took 3 months with us to kiss you on the cheek for the first time. By that time I've known you for at least a year or 10 months. But it took 1 month for your girls at work to kiss you on the cheek. Not one, but five. By that time they've known you for only a month. What can i think about that?

i don't even know why I care so much. I don't even know why this issue is such a big deal to me. I don't even know why I'm blogging this. I don't even know what I want out of this.

But what i know is that times like these make me really want to dream and never wake up... because dreams are like a safety haven for me...I can't feel any pain, joy, jealousy or excitement...nothing and nobody can bother me there...

Now i think i'm getting a fucking fever.

Read between the stabs

Hey happy new year to all...guess your new year would have been so much better than mine. If it is, grats. If it isnt, hang on to your sanity; I'm holding onto mine.

Seriously, shit isn't a word to describe how I'm feeling now. Its so bad I can't even find a word to describe it. To let you know the feeling, it's like being sucked into oblivion, have your heart torn out, pierced with cupid's fucking arrow, dribbled over the entire world, trampled on by thousands of feet and thrown back into you, even with bad stitching. In fact, the stitching is so bad, everytime you think about it, the wound re-opens and you experience things over and over again in a relentless cycle...I really really feel like crying out but if I start, i can't stop so I won't even start...I'll just swallow them up...

I know its your birthday and 21st birthdays are special... well, at least i tried to make it. You know I'm shy to attend family gatherings but I did so anyway to make you happy and to know your family better. I didn't even get mad at you when you gave me the wrong bus number and caused me to walk back in the rain to the first bus stop. I even planned what to wear a few days before and contemplated putting on makeup. I didn't want to embarrass you. I wanted you to be proud of having me as a girlfriend. I guess you would not know all these because I never said anything. In the end I didn't put any makeup because the tries at home went so horribly wrong I just gave up after almost rubbing off half my face...hey.. you're special and so important to me and I know sometimes I can be unbearable..

Sorry for not talking much to your family...I really didn't know how to start conversation (especially in chinese..).. some more your male cousin looked so fierce I was too scared to say anything. I guess i do frustrate you sometimes when I act anti-social..and I know you try to make me happy by mixing with my family members..I mean, really, thanks for that...ARGH I guess I'm just sorry for being a friggin fucking big disappointment.

I guess what hurt me most was what you said... that its alright for a girl to kiss a guy but not okay for a guy to kiss a girl... like wtf....that's just pure rubbish lah....does that mean that any girl on the street can kiss you and thats okay? Yea, okay to you but not to me.... Seriously... if a guy kissed me, wouldn't you feel the pinch too? You may say its your colleagues or friends but, would YOU still be fine if one of my guy friends kissed me? I know everyone wants their fun but one person of the opposite gender is enough... why wait till 5? And on top of that still blush? it makes me wonder if you actually enjoyed it.....and the more i wonder, the more i feel like a fool. It's not a matter of what gender kissed what but rather, we're in a relationship on trust...if these things happen it makes me lose my trust in you. It also makes me feel as if I'm not good enough for you...that you'd rather others..

Don't know.. maybe you think I'm just a kid...those girls out there can satisfy you more because they're much more mature and around your level....I really don't know...Its hurtful to think that way but I wouldn't know what you're thinking...after all, I'm still so underdeveloped in terms of many things... a person your age wouldn't see much in it.

Sorry for saying things that might have hurt you and acted certain ways that only bitches would do...I know you want to be entirely honest with me and I really appreciate that. I can't say much. Hope from this you wouldn't close up entirely from me... i know i got jealous but if you don't tell me these things then how can i trust you.....well guess I can't be pissed then since I want you to be honest... haha I guess I'm disappointed? yea I admit, I'm jealous, even if its childish jealousy to you..but you promised me we'd never grow up... so maybe if you think this is all childish then I guess you've grown up...

Sorry for being sickening.