height of moments

I know of all moments I shouldnt be blogging now, considering that I have SSA to cover and TS is only 90% done and I got to sleep by 11am to wake up by 7am tomorrow.

But if I don't stop the effects are going to be disastruous.

Just to put it simply: I stood up, and immediately fell down.

My head is literally and mentally spinning with words and its a really unpleasant feeling.

Argh. I hate exams.

sulking in the rain

You know the world is out to get students whether its not allowing them to study, sabotaging them with screaming babies or planting agents randomly to steal your notes. But above all, it would be suddenly pouring the moment you step out of the house, and just when you think you're safe at the bus-stop, it bloody stops raining. Brilliant.

And right now the picture of the most adorable cat in the world reflects my mood :

shut up and shut down

Some things just hit a homerun in your system.

And food for thought, one of the rare screamo bands that I actually listen to for like one or two songs is actually a Christian band. IMAGINE THAT.

The lyrics are beautiful, but its so.... unchristian-ey. Imagine the church choir suddenly getting up with their metal instruments and screaming the Our Father and everybody holding hands and moshing.

Extremely, extremely, extremely disjunct.
My life feels so Brecht. (so is the video for the song below too btw.)


Writings on the walls by Underoath
Maybe we, why don't we
Sit right here for half an hour
We'll speak of what a waste I am
And how we missed your beat again.

I swear we need to find some comfort in this run down place
To bridge the gap of this conscious state that we live in
And I'm short on time

How come you try
(that brings us home)
to fit the shape of
(and I pray for)
What they tell you
(You to move on,move on)
but mostly what they show you

At this rate we can't keep up
(I'm taking back all the things I've said)
(I'm taking back all the things I've said)

But I sure can't just sit still
(Keep me filled in and i swear I'll come)

We walk alone
We walk alone
We walk alone
We walk alone
We walk alone
We walk alone
Back home Alone,
Back home

You're almost gone and I'm okay
(I still see your shadow)
To give you time to be afraid

But never your face again
I remember your presence

I hope to God you come down
I hope to God you feel this now
I hope to God you come down
I hope to...God

I know there must be some way out of here
And all of them will be waiting there.

weirdness is genetic

Being a father has its advantages with the number one rule being that, your jokes are never stale. I swear its times like these that I find my dad weird and adorable at the same time. I love my dad (although I'm too much of an asshole to tell him that). And my dad loves the weirdest things. So by default, I guess that makes me loving the weirdest things too.

1. He gets a REAL kick out of watching B and C grade action and horror movies, going into serious laughing fits at the most "dramatic" or "terrifying" parts because of some minute detail that amuses him that only he notices until he points it out.

2. He loves standing over me and watching me play random games, contributing his input like "Aiyah, I was playing these games when I was your age", "I can take over for you" and "Quick! Zombie coming already! (for L4D2)". Or, he just laughs while I randomly shoot zombies or bash them with a frying pan.

3. He is the arch-enemy of Singapore commercials. I mean, really. He'll mute the sound when the commercials start rolling and he'll say "Don't believe him!". Ironically, he seems to really enjoy overseas commercials on the logic that "its so alien it cannot affect me."

4. He's a mega fan boy of American Idol and CSI Miami (he doesn't like the Las Vegas one because he likes Horishio too much.)

and many more...

Anyway, so this is what happened today. We were watching American Idol and the song that was being sung was "I believe I can fly". My dad turned to me and said "Do you know who sang this song?"

I said I forgot but it had something to do with Looney Toons and Michael Jordan.

In response, he gave me a grave look and shot me an answer in a matter-of-fact voice, "No. It's by Superman."

5 seconds passed by.

I said "huh? You mean the original Superman sang this? I thought he fell off a horse and damaged his back."

And the winning answer came.

"Cause he believes he can fly."

But I still laughed anyway. It's awesome to be a dad.

BAck

The time I spent today studying brought back a very strong echo of the past in JC. Sitting in a place for hours and hours, not feeling the time pass by. One moment its daytime, the next moment I leave the place, its night time. And then I get up, feeling drained and pretty empty. Not unhappy – but rather, tireless. There’s still so much I need to do, and so little time to do it. And sitting down today, going through my notes, I can’t help but feel the same way I did last semester: like I wasted my whole semester. Its passively frustrating. But I got a feeling that this is going to be a recurrent thing.

Though, I would say that I honestly managed to cover a lot today. So is it a compromise between work and emotion? Without emotion, I work awesome but I feel like a robot at the end of the day. With emotion, I feel alive, but my pace is a lot slower. Ugh.

I honestly don’t know why my mind works like this. I’m not upset – just thinking. I recently met up with Tudi and we were talking in what most people would call “cheemness”. Basically, everything that our blasted minds come up with from day to day. Combining this with the talk I had with J, it unlocked that part in me that I had been trying to suppress. It’s like a treasure chest, really. I can fill it up with things, fill it to the brim, keep packing everything that I want to keep away, then sit on it and hope that my weight keeps it down. But every once in a while, it springs open and everything bursts out with a greater force than before, then I’ll have to repack everything again.

On a lighter and much less confusing note, holidays are in 3 weeks! (:

And, its time to start getting rid of the BA!! Operation BA commences tomorrow!

I really, really pity my dog despite the fact that half the time I try to help her, she thwarts my attempts. Her skin allergy is acting up again and I'm worried. Not only because it is really uncomfortable and she must be shaved down (the greatest thing she hates), but also because I can't differentiate between her ticks and her scabs. Seriously.

Why must ticks be grey?! Dammit, can't they be like fire engine red with yellow polka dots or something?! Yes god, I am complaining about your poor choice of colour =/

I am seriously so scared I might end up yanking her scab out instead of yanking the ticks out. Ugh. And the ticks feel exactly like her scabs when I run my hands through her fur! So while I'm actually feeling around to see if its a tick, if it turns put that its her scab, I'm putting her through unnecessary discomfort.

I think my dog's going to show me attitude soon. (but for the moment, she's still too sweet to do so so I shall take full advantage of that!)

Anyway, enough about uncomfortable details.

With all project really left behind me, its time to really focus on my exams~! Cause after exams come holidays and during holidays comes a lot of time to work and with work comes MONEH. And yes people, like it or not, money does make my world go round. No money no honey, no money no yummy... etc. Basically, no money not funny.

And yes, I do love studying with you :D
(maybe its just because the sending back is awesome =x )

You can't always be logical

I swear one of the best animes of all times would be Gintama. It is full of rubbish, does not have a plot, and even the mangaka doesn't know what he's doing with it when the fans asked him. But anyway, you need a little bit of insanity to really destress.

For example:

Gintama Episode 109: A hopeless member of the police force is working undercover to join the local resistance force, known as the Jouishishi that is still present, in the hopes to crush down from the inside. So apparently he had to go through an interview, and then a written question and they show him going through the process. Here's the question:

Examiner (also the head of Jouishishi who's another idiot. Actually, they're all idiots): next up are maths questions.

undercover agent Yamamoto: This is bad! I haven't answered anything correctly yet..

Examiner: Question: 10 Shinsengumi members and 6 Jouishishi square off on a road. A charging Shinsengumi kills three Jouishishi. The tireless Jouishishi then killed two Shinsengumi members. In the midst of the chaos, two Shinsengumi were injured. However, six additional men join in as reinforcements. Two more Jouishishi were taken down....


How many of Jackie (Chan)'s noses are there?

When all the drama stops, I look back and sigh.

"Nothing to see here. Get the fuck out of this place."

I realise that I've been indulging myself too much. Indulging myself in my thoughts, my worries and my joys. It's time to put to a stop to that, at least for now. I can't afford to get distracted. Lock it all up, throw away the keys. I'll find it later when I can afford to.

This feels like another dance performance. This familiar feeling of panic, of dread, but at the same time, of anticipation. I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow and I don't know if I'll end the day feeling upset with myself or content. But I do know one thing. And that is, when the music stops, I'm back to being myself, and sometimes being myself is not acceptable. I'm going to have to face my own weaknesses and get rid of it. Obliterate every single avenue that can get me down. Time will tell.

Eat this :D

900k in less than 40 seconds of a song. This shows you how stressed I am HAHAHA

Old promises die hard

It is uncanny that when you are at your wits end, you recall the most unexpected of things. Anyway, I will fight hard to remember this promise even when I'm neck-deep in shit. I can't believe I had forgotten about it for so many years, but now that I've remembered it again, I cannot neglect it. Please help me along. I'm such an ass for making such an idealistic promise to you many years ago.

On a lighter note, Eugin is coming down after like, my persistent bugging for 5 years. FIVE YEARS. Oh well, I guess that's a good gauge to show anyone's maximum tolerance of my bugging. (:

And Silas, I forgot to tell you this just now but, you have no idea how happy I am (with the exception of yesterday's nuclear explosion). And, as Nike says, JUST DO IT. Don't think so much. We may be two very stubborn asses, but I'm sure we're stubborn enough to manage this. :D
And if I'm really unhappy about it, I'll tell you about it faster than you can say "itsa me-"

It takes two shitholes to crap, you know!

I've never felt anymore emotionally stretched within a day this year. I get locked out of my own room for 1 hour, only to realise when the technician is free that my transponder is not working - which is impossible considering that I've not gotten it wet nor have I dropped it or hit it against anything. And now I can't even leave my room or lock it if I want to go to the kitchen. That means no bloody dinner for me cause once I go down I can't come up. And to top that off, I have to pay $50 for something that I didn't break and the new key isn't going to come immediately so I don't know how bloody long I'll be stuck like this. Fuck this.