BAck
The time I spent today studying brought back a very strong echo of the past in JC. Sitting in a place for hours and hours, not feeling the time pass by. One moment its daytime, the next moment I leave the place, its night time. And then I get up, feeling drained and pretty empty. Not unhappy – but rather, tireless. There’s still so much I need to do, and so little time to do it. And sitting down today, going through my notes, I can’t help but feel the same way I did last semester: like I wasted my whole semester. Its passively frustrating. But I got a feeling that this is going to be a recurrent thing.
Though, I would say that I honestly managed to cover a lot today. So is it a compromise between work and emotion? Without emotion, I work awesome but I feel like a robot at the end of the day. With emotion, I feel alive, but my pace is a lot slower. Ugh.
I honestly don’t know why my mind works like this. I’m not upset – just thinking. I recently met up with Tudi and we were talking in what most people would call “cheemness”. Basically, everything that our blasted minds come up with from day to day. Combining this with the talk I had with J, it unlocked that part in me that I had been trying to suppress. It’s like a treasure chest, really. I can fill it up with things, fill it to the brim, keep packing everything that I want to keep away, then sit on it and hope that my weight keeps it down. But every once in a while, it springs open and everything bursts out with a greater force than before, then I’ll have to repack everything again.
On a lighter and much less confusing note, holidays are in 3 weeks! (:
And, its time to start getting rid of the BA!! Operation BA commences tomorrow!
Though, I would say that I honestly managed to cover a lot today. So is it a compromise between work and emotion? Without emotion, I work awesome but I feel like a robot at the end of the day. With emotion, I feel alive, but my pace is a lot slower. Ugh.
I honestly don’t know why my mind works like this. I’m not upset – just thinking. I recently met up with Tudi and we were talking in what most people would call “cheemness”. Basically, everything that our blasted minds come up with from day to day. Combining this with the talk I had with J, it unlocked that part in me that I had been trying to suppress. It’s like a treasure chest, really. I can fill it up with things, fill it to the brim, keep packing everything that I want to keep away, then sit on it and hope that my weight keeps it down. But every once in a while, it springs open and everything bursts out with a greater force than before, then I’ll have to repack everything again.
On a lighter and much less confusing note, holidays are in 3 weeks! (:
And, its time to start getting rid of the BA!! Operation BA commences tomorrow!
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