"Inside me, I have an organ more important than my heart. Although you can't see it... I know it exists inside me. It's the one that lets me stand up and walk forward. So that I can walk forward, without ever trembling. If I stopped here, I feel like it would break.. my soul would break."

- quoteworthy from Gintama

I love my friends

At this point of time, I'm really grateful to my friends. Jazreel, nicole, Sam, Melvin, and the others that I have forgotten to mention, thank you so much. You know how to make a girl feel loved. (:
But for the moment, bear with my whining, moping, emo-ing and nonsense. I love my sisters too.

Sam, there are many reasons why I'm so glad I have you as my friend. And this is not the first blog post I'm dedicating to you, you should know that. Thanks for being awesome. (:


«∞Θ §am Θ∞» All The Lovers says:
YAH
GIRLFRIEND U GO PHUKET
AND U ENJOY URSELF

X i could really use a wish right now says:
I WILL

«∞Θ §am Θ∞» All The Lovers says:
MAKE IT FUCKET
FUCK-IT
NOT PHUKET

Lining in a rainbow.

The start of the Holidays have been really really awful and I cringe at the happy thoughts that I had during exams that I can work hard now, and enjoy later, be the happiest bitch in the world. However, that looks like it's not going to happen anytime soon.

I realised today immediately after I had written an e-mail to my oldest sister that my respect for her goes really really deep. Just writing the e-mail to her and not even getting a reply yet, I felt better knowing that I can pretty much guess what her reply would be. She would scold me for being an idiot, in the mysterious way that she does that never fails to inspire awe in me. She's like a role model to me. Her confidence, never-failing attitude at life, her drive, all of it.

I really aspire to be someone like her, and I will work hard towards it.

And the first step to that would be to try to be happy. (:

The second step would be to get another gay friend so I have 2. :D

Thank you for being the best sister in the world.

A revival of will (a 2010 version)

It's been ages since I've blogged. Yes, I am guilty of being lazy, but there are other reasons too - mainly being really busy and lazier.

I would say that life has been pretty good as of late with no school to worry about. The only pressing issue now would be money, and having to deal with staying at home with no privacy and curfews. Ugh. And a few other things which some people would know. Meh.

Anyway, it just struck me the other day that my will is extremely outdated. So, it's time to update! Like last time, if I ever die one day before my ideal death of 70+, I hope my wonderful friends who stumble upon this blog in the midst of mourning would actually follow my last few wishes, and god bless them for it. I know I will be.

1. You can have my clothes if you fancy anything, but of course my best friends get first dibs. If not, donate it to salvation army or something, at least they can make a quick buck out of it and use the money for some good.

2. I want to be buried/cremated in my awesome shoes. Don't puke me in some sterling white high heels. It's not gonna do shit for me if there is an afterlife. Assuming that everything I have been told is true, if I go to hell, the heels are going to cripple me if I have to run away from demons and the hellish imps. If I'm going to heaven, I'm not going to be happy anyway if my feet feel like its been crushed by mount olympus.

3. Oh, and don't make me wear a white dress. They scare the crap out of me. Imagine if I look myself in the mirror when I die. I might scare myself to double death.
Gimme a nice blouse and my awesome black Giodarno jeans or, a black dress.
Don't be stupid and gimme a red dress, unless you want me to sit by your bedside every night and play premature alarm clock.

4. Do not- and I emphasize, DO NOT, play Amazing Grace at my funeral. I absolutely have a grudge against that song that I will take up to oblivion. Play something happy, or something not so end-of-the-world-ish.

5. As for the rest of my belongings, I have split it up this way:
a) Makeup : nobody gets it. I'm possessive over my makeup and will remain!
b) Laptops, other geek stuff : Boyfriend, you get first dibs on my laptop(s) and others. If you don't want it, my family gets them next, followed by my best friends. Other than that, nobody gets it.
c) Books : Sisters, then best friends, then friends. TREAT MY BOOKS WELL.
d) Money : Sorry, my parents get all my savings down to the last cent.
e) Accessories : Sisters, Best friends

6. Lastly, to let the important people in my life know that I love them, even if I'm an asshole and I don't admit it sometimes. Assuming I don't die shortly after writing this post, then for my family, boyfriend and best friends, you can expect to find letters from me hidden somewhere in the house. Hint: It's hidden in the walls.

Yeah, that's about all I can think of as of now. I am sure this will would change in the years or months to come, but its always good to have something prepared. After all, as morbid as this post may be, Murphy's Law carries substantial weightage and when shit does hit the ceiling fan, at least there wouldn't be stupid conflicts, or in the event that I'm not privileged for goodbyes, this post would save any regret on my side or anyone else's.

With that, I am done. And shut up about counselling. (:

There's always a breaking point that everyone has and you've just snapped it.