Scratched too hard, bite too deep
I was sitting in front of the laptop scratching my neck unconsciously when I suddenly felt the sickening wetness on my fingers. I had scratched so hard that my neck was just blooming with red. And I was like, "hoh, shit."
This happens to me a lot. I unconsciously behave in a certain way or do certain things that I am not consciously aware that I am making an effort at doing until I actually hit a vein. It really is terrible. I could begin to list the many things that qualify under this category like overworking myself, pushing myself in every aspect of life or being too close to someone and not knowing what is the limit, but the list is simply too long, and the night is not so young anymore. And what happens at the end of the day is I end up leaving a scar on myself.
I really wonder why I behave this way. They say that experiences and beliefs shape a person, but its hard to pinpoint what belief and what experience is responsible for this. In the first place, I seem to derive some sick joy of pushing myself this hard. It is like, hah, take that world! In your face!
And this seems to only have surfaced recently. Earlier on, my stand would have been to have little to do with the world as possible, but now the little irrational devil inside of me just wants to get into everyone's face. It is both a good and a bad thing. So, where do you draw the line? And speaking of line, my neck is still dripping. Ugh. It's times like these that you need a vampire for a boyfriend.
Oh, and I went quote-hunting! Here's a few I particularly liked!
The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt. -- Max Lerner, The Unfinished Country, 1950
In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was within me an invincible summer.-- Albert Camus
This happens to me a lot. I unconsciously behave in a certain way or do certain things that I am not consciously aware that I am making an effort at doing until I actually hit a vein. It really is terrible. I could begin to list the many things that qualify under this category like overworking myself, pushing myself in every aspect of life or being too close to someone and not knowing what is the limit, but the list is simply too long, and the night is not so young anymore. And what happens at the end of the day is I end up leaving a scar on myself.
I really wonder why I behave this way. They say that experiences and beliefs shape a person, but its hard to pinpoint what belief and what experience is responsible for this. In the first place, I seem to derive some sick joy of pushing myself this hard. It is like, hah, take that world! In your face!
And this seems to only have surfaced recently. Earlier on, my stand would have been to have little to do with the world as possible, but now the little irrational devil inside of me just wants to get into everyone's face. It is both a good and a bad thing. So, where do you draw the line? And speaking of line, my neck is still dripping. Ugh. It's times like these that you need a vampire for a boyfriend.
Oh, and I went quote-hunting! Here's a few I particularly liked!
The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt. -- Max Lerner, The Unfinished Country, 1950
In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was within me an invincible summer.-- Albert Camus
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