Playing on heartstrings
It really is kind of amazing how time seems to fly when you are occupied with so many things. This 3 month holiday has felt very much like a mere 1 month. Currently, the start of the semester looks pretty ominous. For one, my future in NUS looks pretty unstable, and I am not sure if I would be able to minor in anything in time - much less take my honours. Also, I both dread and look forward to seeing people in school. It really is a very tiring process.
I got off the phone with my partner the other day and she told me that Starbucks Liat Towers is re-opening on the 21st of this month. It produced a really mixed feeling inside while I was staring down at my crispy beef noodle at dinner. Despite all that has happened so far, I know that deep down I would miss some of the partners and the regulars at Wisma. Yet at the same time, I am really glad that I would be back with my awesome LT partners. And a little part of me worries that I will not be able to cope with the demands of LT again, after being pampered or rather, allowed to slacken a lot at Wisma. It is both a very attractive challenge and a very daunting fear.
The passing of rag is also something that has numbed me the past few days. I still feel the constant need to go for rehearsals, or to check my calender for cheer practices, or even to call or msg my fellow raggers and see what time they would be down at the rag site. I guess it really is hard to digest that 3 months of crazy hard work, toiling night after night, is actually gone in 24 hours. I know I will still see them in school when the semester starts, but we all know that the feeling will be so different.
I feel like there's a vacuum in my life now. 2 months ago, I threw the life I knew away for rag and now that rag is gone, I feel the discarded parts of my life running back, demanding to be attended to. It is unpleasant, really. If rag was a distraction, it was a damn bloody good one.
I do not know how things will play out from here on, but I do hope, that at the end of the day, everything will fit into place - leaving no room for disgust, regret and disappointment.
I got off the phone with my partner the other day and she told me that Starbucks Liat Towers is re-opening on the 21st of this month. It produced a really mixed feeling inside while I was staring down at my crispy beef noodle at dinner. Despite all that has happened so far, I know that deep down I would miss some of the partners and the regulars at Wisma. Yet at the same time, I am really glad that I would be back with my awesome LT partners. And a little part of me worries that I will not be able to cope with the demands of LT again, after being pampered or rather, allowed to slacken a lot at Wisma. It is both a very attractive challenge and a very daunting fear.
The passing of rag is also something that has numbed me the past few days. I still feel the constant need to go for rehearsals, or to check my calender for cheer practices, or even to call or msg my fellow raggers and see what time they would be down at the rag site. I guess it really is hard to digest that 3 months of crazy hard work, toiling night after night, is actually gone in 24 hours. I know I will still see them in school when the semester starts, but we all know that the feeling will be so different.
I feel like there's a vacuum in my life now. 2 months ago, I threw the life I knew away for rag and now that rag is gone, I feel the discarded parts of my life running back, demanding to be attended to. It is unpleasant, really. If rag was a distraction, it was a damn bloody good one.
I do not know how things will play out from here on, but I do hope, that at the end of the day, everything will fit into place - leaving no room for disgust, regret and disappointment.
"Without me, my rag is nothing.
Without my rag,
I.am.nothing."
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