Just a very short reflection on the past few days' events.
For those people who play online games, you would realise that there are lots of BGR relationships online. Just online relationships for the fun of it is common and they call each other "dar" or "dear" or "sweetie" without any intention of meeting or being committed into a relationship. Most of the time we'd call those people "despos" or known as desperate people in our common terms because they usually have more than one so-called "online gf/bf" but sometimes you really cannot judge a book by its cover...
You see, I am in a guild, or many might know as a clan in an online game called MU Alchemy. Its a private server separate from the Global MU online. My guild is called SG-Force by the way. And my guild master is xIc3x. Or, Ice lahs ok? When i first met Ice when i was training in Lost Tower 7 (its a place where u train laaa okay?) i thought he was a really nice guy. I found out he's 17, lives in ang mo kio and yeah, is singaporean (like duh! SG-Force?? Sg = Singapore? yeah think!). So, i was with my sister and we partied him(people who play online games, you know what this means.) and went together to kill monsters. After chatting a while, I quit my guild called BurnOut and joined his guild. Its not that BurnOut was bad, its just that i don't really know the people there and i don't really feel the "family warmth". Anyway, when i joined SG-Force, i felt really really at home. The people there were so friendly and nice and we helped each other out like best friends. We didn't mind giving each other valuable things in the game cause hey, its just a damn game right? No need to take it seriously.
In MU, there's something called guild chat where members can chat privately amongst each other and only your guild members can see what they're typing or what you're typing. So anyway, I got a bit shock when Ice suddenly called this elf(there are 4 char in the game- dark knight, dark wizard, elf and magic gladiator. elves are the only female chars) "Dar" and i got a shock. Its not really the part where he called someone darling that shocked me. it was WHO he was calling that really really shocked me! That elf was in my previous guild and her name is StEpHaNie. She's only in primary 6. And ice was like.. 17?! So, being human and a stupid teenager, my first impression was, omg. And the word "despo" immediately flashed through my mind. I mean, yeah, online relationships with a 12 year old? get real right? at least get someone older like 14-17 of his age. So it kinda irritated me for some reason cause i always saw Ice as as a respectable figure. Not just because he was the guild leader (which is very prestigious mind you)but also because i saw him as a older brother (you know, kor?) and that image of him having an online relationship wif a girl so young for fun made him look very very immature. It really bugged me too. You could say i took a liking to this older brother of mine and seeing a 12 year old girl slutting around with him really made me sick and annoyed. I mean, WHAT ARE THE YOUTHS IN SINGAPORE BECOMING MAAAAAN!?
Ahem! So anyway, I was sitting on my chair the whole afternoon and evening playing Mu while my fist clenched now and then because i couldn't stand the slutting around (you cant close the guild chat by the way. you have to read it by hook by crook) Then, that night, at 1am, Ice suddenly messaged me. I got a shock because he normally doesn't talk to me much in the guild chat. And some more, what shocked me more is that he talked to me in whisper. Now, in whisper mode, only the two people who are whispering can read it and the others cant. The conversation went like this:
xIc3x: wait. don't go to sleep yet.
teara(me):?
xIc3x: I want to ask you something
teara:yeah?
xIc3x: you know stephanie?
teara: My friend might know. i only know her cause she was ibn my previous guild.
xIc3x:er. okay.....do you know how old steff is? She told me she's 12.
teara:yeah she's 12.
xIc3x: I don't believe.
teara:really, she is. she's studying in primary school. But i forgot which one.
xIc3x:...oh.... okay.... I thought she was just lying to me for the fun of it....
teara:?
xIc3x: you see, i don't really feel that she trusts me.
teara:? how come?
xIc3x: Yeah, and in a relationship i think trust is the most important.
teara: but what makes you say that she don't trust you?
xIc3x: she won't tell me her real name.
teara: she said it was stephanie isnt it
xIc3x:? i don't know...
teara:relaks okay?
xIc3x: yea.. but i just feel that she dont have any feelings for me...
teara:? but...you guys seem okay?
xIc3x:I don' t know... she's not serious. I really want to ask her out one day... hai...
teara:chill yaz. cheer up :)
xIc3x: Yeah, i just want some quiet now. Thanks. I'll go have a cup of water...
teara: okay
thats how the conversation went. Or something like that lahs. The main idea is still there and i just realised something through all of that. I felt guilty and i felt weird. I didn't realise that ice loved stephanie so much. I thought he was just playing around like a lot of people do but i gues i was wrong. At that moment, i really felt sorry for him. He felt so sad and so depressed... and he wasn't normally one who was very open with his feelings. I really treasured that conversation cause i realised something not to judge people because they may feel deeper than you know. Even tho ice may not see this, i just wanna say, thanks.
