Need a faster route to heaven? JOIN CHEERLEADING!

Gee, doesn't the title says it all?

Yes, I'm in cheerleading. Laugh all you want because I don't seem the type riiiight? Well I don't care. I've been in it for a few years randomly and this year's one is living hell. Even Euthanasia seems to be so tempting and appealing now. It's scary. My limbs feel like its jelly for one second and the next, guess what? You can't walk because its too painful. It's pure torture. Cheer is often thought to be a bimbo sport but honestly, carrying people thats 5/6 of your weight is not a joke ESPECIALLY if you're a girl and you're doing a GUY'S job. So I'm 55.5 and the girl is 42 so like... 55.5+42=99.7kg on your poor knees. AND they scream at you if you don't get it right and they make you do it over and over and over again and AGAIN until everything's perfect and even if you give your 110%, its still not enough for them.

Claws are coming out already baby if this is not gonna finish soon.
Or, i'd just lose my sanity.

It's really horrible la.... And the worst thing is that I feel that I'm kind of rejected there because:
1)I'm not flexible
2)I'm a lousy base
3)I'm weak [physically and mentally]
4)I'm not a extrovert
5)I can't get my moves right

It's a horrible feeling to get screamed at for the most minor mistakes and given the cold shoulder just because you're not "up to standards" and when other peeps do it wrongly, EVEN if its a major error, they just politely get reminded by the peers to do it right. What kind of shit attitude is this man? I'm damn f***ing frustrated la! The only people that i seem to actually have respect for is probably only Isabelle [sec 2 gal], Elizabeth [sec 4], Yiping, Celina, Alex,Vic,Jess,Glad, April,Pat and that girl whom I always forget her name. I have no absolute respect for beatrice or Christine and SOMETIMES Isabelle when she gets histerical. I don't know why but Christine and Beatrice seem to always be glaring at me all the time just because I ain't as good of a dancer as Vicky or as flexible as Alex or Pat. The worst is that she's always screaming and gets unhappy VERY EASILY and give unreasonable terms to stand by. That is NOT acceptable and appovable in the FatCat's point of view. But what's a cat to do?

Withstand it all of course.

Balding process: 3/4 complete. Almost there to become a bald persian. Yeeck.

Here's an encore to society

POO YOU SOCIETY!!!

See if you can swallow Society's MOTTO!

Have anyone of you picked up the newspaper today and read the front article? Its about this dude who's 37 years old and is engaged and due to marriage on 3rd april. His fiance was with him (she's 40 years old) at Buena Vista (correct me if I'm wrong) mrt and he somehow slipped and his shoe dropped in the tracks. So, as any shoe-loving singaporean would do, he jumped down into the tracks and went to save his precious shoe before the train came and reduced it to a pulp. Unfortunately, he did not see the train coming and you can imagine the rest. His fiance was there and was trying to pull him off the tracks because he had difficulty climbing up and when the train passed, he kinda got sliced into half and he died literally in her arms. It's really tragic. May his soul rest in peace.

Then it got the FatCat thinking...

This tragic incident is really bizarre and it puzzles me. How could the mrt driver not have seen the dude on the tracks and secondly, the mrt cameras did not manage to take a shot of this as well. The WORST thing that they stated in the papers was that everybody on the platform did not even ATTEMPT to help the poor lady pull her fiance up. That really pissed me off and made me frown deeply in the mrt carriage where I was on my way to Somerset.

It struck me how SELFISH Singaporeans are.

So I was having a total rant session with my boyfriend and was practically yelling at the top of my voice about how selfish Singaporeans are, irregardless of the fact that the whole train was full of Singaporeans and that they might try to bash me up. Was too pissed to consider that. I know, I'm rash. But hey, THINK ABOUT IT LOGICALLY. If there was just ONE more person who went to help the poor heartbroken lady, JUST ONE MORE, that happy couple would be married on the 3rd of April and that lady would have somebody to hold onto and cherish till the end of her days. It would make such a difference on her life! That guy could have SURVIVED! IS JUST ASKING ONE BLOODY PERSON TO HELP TOO MUCH TO ASK?! I mean, come on people...where's the humanity in this? Whatever social defence or whatever defence that they always advertise on Total Defence Day is COMPLETELY absent here! I'm sorry I'm going to have to say this but in my personal opinion, yesterday's incident proves this to be complete BULLSHIT!

I'm not making it sound that am completely guiltless of this, had I been there; because I would not have helped either. I won't make excuses because I know I'm a selfish little worm and the thing that scares me the most is death. Ironic isn't it? I'm so morbid and so fanatical about death but yet I'm afraid of death itself. I guess its the selfish human nature at work.

And that's what kept everyone to their spot that very time it had happened.

I feel very ashamed to admit it but it's true. Everyone's afraid of death and if I were there, my biggest worry would be that IF i went there to help, that dude would pull me into the tracks in desperate hopes to climb out and I would instead take his place and get squished by the train. It's selfish isn't it? But its true. Think about it yourselves. Would you have helped? Don't lie and you'd realise something very sinful.

But that's beside the point. I think that the person who made the biggest mistake here was the guy for making the decision to jump in without looking out for the train and I think the person who takes the second most responsibility is the mrt driver. Had he been attentive and OPENED his eyes, he would have jammed his train to a stop. But I think he was daydreaming and that cost another person's life. The FatCat's got no willpower to criticise him because the guilt of killing someone will haunt him for the rest of his life and I think that's good enough punishment. But as you can tell, I'm still mostly disappointed with the people on the platform....

It's not fair how he died. He didn't deserve to. He had his whole life ahead of him...

If someone can just come up to me and tell me that there was at least SOMEONE who thought of helping that day, I'd be contented because I can't swallow the fact that society is all so heartless, cruel, self-centred, uncaring and has literally NO capacity TO LOVE ANYONE EXCEPT THEMSELVES! My words may sting with a capatalised "OUCH" but I think society deserves that! Don't give me bullshit about world peace and how much they can LOVE a person and how some people are so deeply in love that they're "oh-so-willing to give up their life for their love". I'd stare you coldly in the face and slap you with my tail. If you can only love your loved ones, how are you ever to have the compassion to love your loved ones when you don't CARE about the other human beings around you? Then i'd tell you my friend, that's not love. It's only a lie to sooth your conscience that it's love. People nowadays just care for themselves and ONLY themselves!

You want to know what I think? The FatCat thinks society's motto is "ME MYSELF AND I!" because everyone just can't give a damn around here! All they think about is ME ME AND ONLY ME! For example, if you see a old lady fall down on the street, I BET you won't help her up and you'd just scurry by with a I-didn't-see-anything-face! Ho, don't tell me that society is not like that because I've sat down and watched the day go by and I've seen cases where people just don't care at all. If it were in the states, at least SOMEONE would help that poor lady up! I'm not judging angmohs and Singaporeans but face it, Singaporeans have FORGOTTEN all their morals!!!! Personally, I don't quite like angmohs but in this case, I have great respect for their compassion and ability to love AND SINGAPOREANS SHOULD BE GREATLY, GREATLY ASHAMED!!!

I'm not saying that everyone is like this but to see that about in 100+ people on the platform, only his fiance cared, its truly very very horrifying. I have great admiration for this woman. She truly loves her fiance. She should be an example to all. And THAT'S what I call sacrificing for your love one! Because she could have been killed in the process too if she were not careful! I hoped that you've realised the same thing that I've realised too because it's a cat and dog world out there. It's not that innocent. It's cold and cruel.

Society can go fuck themselves.

Facials, A pack of llamas and an electronic boyfriend

This skin's so annoying. Took me bloody long to sort it out. Ugh.

Anyways, I went for a facial today cause my mom's been complaining she can't stand the sight of my pimples [gee thanks for the compliment] but its okay because I've never tried a facial before [mom i gotta thank you there] but then again it didn't turn out as I thought it would be [and that's where i DON'T thank you] because it turned out to be a torture session where i was having a squirming session on the bed I was lying on.

Its torturous, really.

If the pain of extracting your pimples doesn't kill you, the boredom will.

So what to do if you're lying there for lets say... 2 hours while suffering immense pain as a lady pokes and cleans ur face with a needle and a scary looking round thing? Well think of llamas of course! Don't ask me why. llamas are just suddenly so-oh appealing.

Then I quickly stopped thinking of llamas when i started to halucinate I heard a baa. Okay I know sheeps go baa but in my topsy-turvy complex un-logical mind of mine, llamas go baa. So it stays. Anyway so I started to think of the comic I had just bought from popular. It looked interesting enough with the cover of a guy in a cardboard box with a paper in his mouth stating, "A present for you" and that the title was "Absolute boyfriend" so I bought it. Okay, so the guy was kinda.... naked but hey, I didn't buy the book for that reason. In fact, I wished, he HAD some clothes on cause staring at his lean and skinny body makes me feel fat. SO I thought, if he wore baggy clothes and oversized shoes that the aliens we know as guys or men wear, he'd look fatter. Then i'll be happy cause I won't be ogling and being envious of how skinny he is even though its ridiculous because its a comic book. Hey, it still gets to me.

Okay back to electronic half-naked really-hot-and-skinny boyfriend comic book. Did I just say really-hot? Hm i think. But netherless, nobody's hotter than my Johnny Depp -swoons- in Pirates of the Carribean who can make my knees weak in an instant even though he wore layers of foundation and TONS of mascara in that show. I think it's the hat or the hair or the gun. Or maybe it's the mascara. It's bizarre. Girls, he's definately a keeper. No offense here dear, you're boy boy cute-ish not hot and macho and stuff. Be honoured. I only know a few dudes who have that if-I-stare-at-you-hard-enough-I-hope-you'd-gimme-a-candy-look and you're one of them and I find that completely adorable so don't be sad yupps? Heres a consolation: Only Johnny Depp and unrealistic comic book people are hot. Other than that, POO to the other wanna-be-hot-dudes!

I'm sorry I got carried off. ANYWAY! Back to electronic half-naked really-hot-and-skinny boyfriend comic book! It's about this girl who is a complete sucker at getting hitched and she just gets rejected over and over [I can never understand why this is so because she's so pretty and bubbly] and so she stumbles on a dating online thing who can find her "THE perfect match" and then she tries the "3-day trial" and a huge package comes to her house and she pries it open and poom! The electronic half-naked really-hot-and-skinny-guy-whom-I'm-so-swooning-and-envious-over drops out onto her, yes, naked. Basically, he's a "model" or a robot that's EXACTLY almost human(except that he has a programme) and he's programmed to be there for her and love her with undying love and cherish her and bla bla bla. It's really sweet cause he's EVERYTHING a girl can dream of! He cooks, he's fit, he's built, he's got a fantastic personality, he's got that "look" that makes every girl swoon at his knees, he's protective over his girlfriend (the girl who's hopeless at getting hitched), he defends her in trouble, he can't make you pregnant [ah-duh], he's got no insane sexual drive that many guys can't control and end up doing.... not so nice things..., he has undying devotion for her(something REALLY rare in guys nowadays! -sigh- the lives of us tragic women.) and basically everything in a package!

Girls, drooling already?

So I thought during that bored and torturous time, what IF these kinda stuff do exist? I wondered if I got one of those electronic half-naked really-hot-and-skinny-guy-whom-I'm-so-swooning-and-envious-over as a boyfriend whose gonna be there at my whims and fancies? It'd be great just that everyone's gonna get one and all our boyfriends are gonna be all looking the same. It's very disturbing. Here's an example of a case scenario:

So I am walk along the street and sees my boyfriend-look-alike kissing another girl. I run over thinking its REALLY my boyfriend cause they're ALL identical.
Mel: YOU CAD! -slaps boyfriend-
Girl's electronic boyfriend: ?!?!
Girl: !!!! You slapped my boyfriend! He's MY boyfriend!
Mel: -slaps girl- No! He's MINE!
Girl:-stares hard at electronic boyfriend- YOU MEAN YOU'RE CHEATING ON ME?! -slaps electronic boyfriend and runs off bawling-
Mel: -checks barcode at the back of the electronic boyfriend's neck and finds out it REALLY IS the other girl's electronic boyfriend- oops.

Get it? Disturbing yes? And guys on this earth would be redundant too and they might all just turn gay. Which I may state, is VERY disturbing as well because places of slim wraps, facial and botox jabs would be very very full and its already worst enough with the women in it. Also, that means that guys would be thinner than me and I find that UNEXCEPTABLE! -chants to myself: I'm not fat I'm not fat I'm not fat...- -realises I'm fat and runs to a corner and bawls loudly- Secondly, shopping centres would be more crowded and that's gonna be HELL UNLEASHED! Thirdly, everyone's gonna be wearing perfume and air pollution would be unbearable that I think even smokers would wanna give up smoking and wear a mask on the streets.

But those are just the cons. Think about it girls, a PERFECT boyfriend. How wonderful is that?! Designed for your pure sinful pleasure and selfish reasons. The thought of it sends a tingle down my back. Imagine this: You wake up in the morning, a WONDERFUL AND SCUMPTIOUS breakfast is done by your electronic boyfriend and you rush off to school soon after. You come back, lunch is ready, the dishes are done, the house is spick and span, the dog has been fed and played with, your bed is tidy and your love just runs up to you and welcomes you home in a big and wonderful hug that makes you melt totally in his arms and forget the horrible things that had happened that day. Couldn't it be just anymore perfect? I don't think so. What's more, he gives in to everything you do, doesn't complain about anything at all, is content with his life and is madly and deeply in love with you. -sighs dramatically- But then again, the giving in part is a bit extreme. He's gotta disagree sometimes and a friendly argument is fun too. How sinful is that? Selfishness is obvious here. Then at night, after he's finished doing your homework and when you're done with watching tv, he carries you to the bed and cuddles you from behind as he kisses you to sleep. Gee how fairy tale. Bet nobody ever does this.

Stupid society. So unromantic.

Then I got rudely awoken from my daydream as I yelled in pain as my facial gal popped a big pimple which hurt A LOT and I swear [figure of speech, not in the name of god or myself] I could hear a llama laughing at me and saying, "Welcome back to reality."

Poo.

No electronic boyfriend.

On the road to become a hairless persian

Whoooo I'm stressed. REALLY stressed. Wanna see the schedule today?

6-2pm sch
-found out last minute have cheer practice. Din even have PE attire

3.30-6.20pm cheer practice

7pm-8pm E Maths Tuition

8.30pm-9.30pm A Maths Tuition

Yup... cheer. I can't dance for nuts and I keeps screwing up my dance moves. It sucks. A lot. And I don't have time to practice. SOME MORE I HAVE A BLOODY A MATHS CA TOMORROW! Yup, the FatCat's on the road to become a hairless persian.

Recipe to baldness:
10 cups of stress
1/2 teaspoon of clumsiness
6 vials of lactic acid to cause muscle cram
3 buckets of pain for being stepped on in cheer
60 tonnes of unfinished due homework
100 grams of oh-so-little-time

Mix them together and you'd get a bald persian.

Plus I have to get contacts for cheer. Hm. And the girl told me to get ask for a sample from the optician and lie that I want to try out contacts cause I'm interested and buying. And I got humiliated in front of the whole cheer squad when they found out I got a boyfriend. Ho-hun. Its odd that the earth doesn't just open up and swallow you whole when you just want it too. Or at least, not as odd as Marian beatin every single huge suspcious fly-cum-bee to death with her oh-so-powerful SOCIAL STUDIES BOOK! I knew those books were lethal. So, how am I going to ask for a sample. I've thought of a few case scenarios when I was bathing.

Case scenario one:
M:Hi, I would like to try out contacts because I'm interested in buying. Can I have a sample?
Store Dude:No. We're closing. Have a nice day.
M: -stands outside shop and curses- !%&#$(#^!@&!(
Worst case scenario for this: I end up kicking the damn shop door out of anger and injure my foot.

Case scenario 2:
M:Hi, I would like to try out contacts because I'm interested in buying. Can I have a sample?
Store Dude:Don't be so Singaporean la! We know you're just trying to fleece us!
M:Well, THANKS A LOT BUSTER! I'm just asking for a damn SAMPLE! Is it THAT hard just to spare me one?! Huh?! It's not like I HAVE a choice either you know! You think I enjoy prancing around in oh-so-short skirts in the blazing hot sun while you sit on your fat ass here, enjoy aircon and even get paid for it?! -glares-
Store Dude:-looks quite terrified-
Worst case scenorio:Store Dude chases me outta the shop and I STIL don't get my contacts.

Case scenario 3:
M:Hi, I would like to try out contacts because I'm interested in buying. Can I have a sample?
Store Dude: SURE! We always treat our customers with the BEST service! Would you like the blue one? Or the green one? Actually I think the olive one's nicer but then again the violet's GORGEOUS don't you think? Looks a bit like lavender. Ooooo I LOVE Lavender! It smells like heaven! Then again for your face I think a brown one would be nicer-"
M:-looks scared- t-thanks... I think I got the wrong shop.... bye now!
Worst case scenario: Get dragged by crazy store dude and get tortured and STILL don't get my contacts.

Case scenario 4:
M:-slams onto the counter- ALRIGHT! THAT'S ENOUGH! THE SAMPLE CONTACTS OR YOUR LIFE!!!! -brandishes penknife-
Store Dude: HAHAHAHAHA! nice fake. Now what do you REALLY want?
M:.....=.=""" -stabs clerk- -runs away-
Worst case scenario: Gets caught by police and charged for murder and STILL don't get my contacts.

Case scenario 5:
M:-frantically runs into shop- PLEASE HELP! MY GRANDMOTHER'S DYING!!! Oh kind soul would you do me the favor of granting her last wish?
Store Dude:-chews on donut- ehhh?
M:SHE WANTS TO WEAR CONTACTS JUST BEFORE SHE DIE!!! OH PLEASE SPARE ME JUST ONE AND GRANT A POOR DYING LADY'S WISH?!
Store Dude:Sorry but I can't give freebees. Nice try though.
M:-GLARES- -grabs store dude's neck and stuffs donut down- -clerk chokes and dies- -looks around and exclaims loudly to the people around- I TOLD YOU THOSE THINGS GO STRAIGHT TO YOUR ASS! -grabs contacts and run-
Worst case scenario:Gets caught by police and STILL don't get to USE my contacts!

BEST Case scenario ever:
M:Hi, I would like to try out contacts because I'm interested in buying. Can I have a sample?
Store Dude:Sure. Take a look at our range. Just pick any.
M: -picks-
Store Dude: Thank you have a nice day.
M: -beams- thank you. you too. -runs out of the shop laughing like a maniac-

However... we know that this BEST case scenario is almost impossible....

25% on the way to being a hairless Persian....

FatCat's had a crazy day.

FatCat's really nonsensical. Spent half the day wondering if Steph could marry a cow and cook him for dinner. Spent the other half wondering what would happen if I threw Stacy into a marsh full of alligators. Then again, FatCat really pities the alligators. Their poor stomach. What a turn-off. Was staring at the road and wondering if I would laugh if I see and old lady fall down. It would be hilarious since I'm in such an evil mood. Then again, I pity the ant that gets crushed by her. I'm so evil it scares me. FatCat's feeling lazy. Wonder if she's going blind.

Again.

Recap of current events

hey! Long time no update. Kays. Got lots to say.

Valentine's Day rocks. I was sick but I still sneaked out [whoohoo I rock]

Lost my first kiss before camp. [uh huh]

Camp was damn fun! Here's a recap:

1st day: We arrived at costa sands. No we did not sleep in a chalet. we slept in tents OUTSIDE
the chalet while teachers slept in the chalet. Depressing? VERY!
Played initiative games. We kicked ass. Our class won the trolley thing. yeahs.
HAD LUNCH! [omg food never tasted so good]
Rained. Did a little rain dance. Got soaking wet.
Set up the tents [it was awful]
Found out my mens just came. Riiiiiiight.
Did ropes course [jaz and I rock. We made it up in the fasted time and we even did
a chicken dance on top. yea. stop laughing already.]
HAD DINNER! [I love rice]
Got through the mad crowd and bathed in 5 min.
Stole sausage buns to eat in tent. Stole about 10 with Jo and Ting.
Went out for a stroll with them, all of us ate about 2 buns. Four left.
Slept.

2nd day: Woke up. [I'm starting to love my tents]
Woke up the rest of my tent mates [Shalini, Ting and Joanne yall rock]
Washed up and changed
Got through the day without dying at morning run
Went dragon boating. Fell asleep on the way there.
My group won all the nerds. We were way ahead in the race. [I jumped into the river!]
HAD LUNCH! [I love my momma]
Had rafting [I slacked with KB on the tumbler. Stoned there.]
Stoned and tidied tent. Went over to Jaz's tent to chat while others went for the rope
course as they didn't manage to get a chance previously. Ate 2 buns. 2 left.
HAD DINNER! [I love my dada]
Had campfire [fun ya?]
Bathed and got scolded by Dennis.
Slept like a log. [everyone slept first. I went to the tent and they were asleep. haa]

3rd day: Woke up a bit late. Woke up the rest.
Too late to run to toilet to brush teeth. We did it outside our tents using our water in
our waterbottles. It was crazy but fun. Ate the remaining buns. None left. Sad. It was
really yummy.
Survived Morning Run.
OMG BREAKFAST WAS SO GOOD! [NASI LEMAK!]
Break camp [sniff I miss my tent]
Had inter-class circuit relay games
Went back home all lobster-ish and burned.


Sunburns hurt the Fat Cat.

And the Fat Cat had to go for her cousin Chevelle's wedding reception after.

Fat Cat feels fat after eating so much.

Sigh.