It's just not fair...

I don't know where to start...I'm really lost now....Really in shock... Everything just seems so surreal...So there I was, cutting my nails and the dragon just walked up and told me that a friend of mine just passed away...like wtf? wth? When? how? AARGGHH this is not happening... that friend's still so young and always full of life.... she always had a radiating glow and always reassured me I was special whenever my self-esteem dipped..I really don't know what to say... I keep thinking if I go back to her shop she'd still be there with a bright smile on her face...argh its all a lie...really its all not fucking fair at all...I can't even cry because I don't believe she's dead....I just can't....Because if i do, I'll remember everything all over again....ARGH FUCK LA why am I always surrounded by death!?!??!!?!?! Last year, this year, the previous previous year.....I can't take this anymore......And the worst thing was, I don't even know how she died...They told me they just found her that way...I really don't know what to say.....I just don't want to believe it....