Haiz
Gee this is weird. I've just had two guys asking me out on the same day- plus: the funnier thing is, one of them was someone I had asked for help in shooing off the other, only in turn, for HIM To ask me out. It's weird. I've never considered myself pretty. I can stare into the mirror and try to make myself as beautiful as possible - without the pimples and ugly hair and mole. But somehow I'd just know that I really can't compare that much to others.
How I got tangled up in this mess? I don't know. I don't even know why am i replying the messages of some people who I've only known for 2 days or people who I've known only for a few hours on maplestory.
Maybe I've come to a realisation that these people are just like me.
We're both pretty much alone in our own lives - attached or not attached. I guess having someone there like a boyfriend/girlfriend does help a lot but its dangerous when people like me become over-dependent and I guess the other party would not be able to take it sooner or later -therefore the "you'retoosticky" complaint. However, its also somewhat of a weakness. These people become the source of your happiness and when you're denied seeing them, there's an instant chasm inside, eating you alive. And it gets worse and worse with every time. Unreasonable would be a word to describe it or probably "too sensitive" but its probably because of how I've led my entire life.
Recently, there was someone who have affected me a lot. I met him on maple just the other day. Yeah, just like every maple guy, he's a pretty good smooth talker and he's very direct with flirts -not that I care very much. But I've discovered something about him while engaging in a short conversation online. There seems to be a part of him that wants to make more friends or to have some sort of companionship...I guess this struck me a lot because I thought of myself.
I've always wanted a friend of the opposite gender who I can relate to as a best friend - not a boyfriend, but a best friend. And I've yet to find someone like that. Maybe I've grown up in such a girl-centered life thats why I have this yearning. Not that girlfriends are bad-nono, if fact I love my girlfriends to bits and pieces but well... its just... different.
I really want to help this guy... he seems to be very very lonely... but I know I can't help every lonely guy out there. Which brings me to this dilemna... AM I doing this to help him? Or am I doing this to cure my own confusion? He may seem desperate with the fact that he's always whining on sms-es that he wants a gf and he's counting all hopes on me but i guess there's a lot more to that... Something that you people won't be able to see unless you've lived my life and you can peer into my mind...
because sometimes I don't understand myself either..
How I got tangled up in this mess? I don't know. I don't even know why am i replying the messages of some people who I've only known for 2 days or people who I've known only for a few hours on maplestory.
Maybe I've come to a realisation that these people are just like me.
We're both pretty much alone in our own lives - attached or not attached. I guess having someone there like a boyfriend/girlfriend does help a lot but its dangerous when people like me become over-dependent and I guess the other party would not be able to take it sooner or later -therefore the "you'retoosticky" complaint. However, its also somewhat of a weakness. These people become the source of your happiness and when you're denied seeing them, there's an instant chasm inside, eating you alive. And it gets worse and worse with every time. Unreasonable would be a word to describe it or probably "too sensitive" but its probably because of how I've led my entire life.
Recently, there was someone who have affected me a lot. I met him on maple just the other day. Yeah, just like every maple guy, he's a pretty good smooth talker and he's very direct with flirts -not that I care very much. But I've discovered something about him while engaging in a short conversation online. There seems to be a part of him that wants to make more friends or to have some sort of companionship...I guess this struck me a lot because I thought of myself.
I've always wanted a friend of the opposite gender who I can relate to as a best friend - not a boyfriend, but a best friend. And I've yet to find someone like that. Maybe I've grown up in such a girl-centered life thats why I have this yearning. Not that girlfriends are bad-nono, if fact I love my girlfriends to bits and pieces but well... its just... different.
I really want to help this guy... he seems to be very very lonely... but I know I can't help every lonely guy out there. Which brings me to this dilemna... AM I doing this to help him? Or am I doing this to cure my own confusion? He may seem desperate with the fact that he's always whining on sms-es that he wants a gf and he's counting all hopes on me but i guess there's a lot more to that... Something that you people won't be able to see unless you've lived my life and you can peer into my mind...
because sometimes I don't understand myself either..
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