Uund wisch' sie wieder weg
I never ever understood why people get themselves piss drunk to drown their sorrows. Sure, your problems would go away in that instant the moment the happy musicians in your head start playing, but you would wake up the next day feeling worse than shit. It's bad enough to be emotionally fucked, but to be physically fucked too is pretty much stabbing yourself in the back.
In this month only, I would say that the amount of alchohol that has been consumed is that of how much I would normally consume in a whole year. It is not through blind drinking and chugging it down. I never got high to that extent or drunk. It usually stops at being comfortably high and finding everything amusing.
But really, the company is amazing. The stupid things that are done, the damn witty comments that arise, and waking up the next afternoon with the remains of everyone around you is a really surreal experience - sleeping faces, unglamorous sprawled forms, abandoned cups and empty vodka bottles. One thing is for sure though - its a mega endorphin release. Happy chemicals ftw . (:
But you know, it never fails to amaze me how comfortable it is to hang out till the next morning. It is like, when everyone around ceases all activity and nature is dead, the silence sort of envelopes you and creates a very sublime form of comfort and privacy. And when the night is over, and you see the first tinge of a sunrise and hear the birds wake and the traffic slowly starting to murmur in the streets, you cannot help but wonder, "Damn, we sleep for such a short period of time!"Although well, it feels much much longer when you are alone or when you are sleeping.
And, the phenomena is just amazing. As the world awakes, from being totally aware of your solitude, you start to merge in with the rest of the world. Just another person walking around who is fighting to live, breathe. It is pretty much like the world swallows up your existence.
But you know what? I would like to walk around the streets at 3am again and take a picture in the middle of a junction, just below the traffic light. =)
And on another note, the small things really do count to brighten up your day. This is a little late, but I saw this when I ordered my much loved Meatball Marinara from Ion Subway last week after Japanese class.
Needless to say, I think the person who wrote it loves Meatball Marinara too. :D
And yes, I am guilty of sneaking a smiley face once or twice whenever its quiet on a Starbucks cup listed with a Caramel Macchiato.
I guess what goes around really does come around.
In this month only, I would say that the amount of alchohol that has been consumed is that of how much I would normally consume in a whole year. It is not through blind drinking and chugging it down. I never got high to that extent or drunk. It usually stops at being comfortably high and finding everything amusing.
But really, the company is amazing. The stupid things that are done, the damn witty comments that arise, and waking up the next afternoon with the remains of everyone around you is a really surreal experience - sleeping faces, unglamorous sprawled forms, abandoned cups and empty vodka bottles. One thing is for sure though - its a mega endorphin release. Happy chemicals ftw . (:
But you know, it never fails to amaze me how comfortable it is to hang out till the next morning. It is like, when everyone around ceases all activity and nature is dead, the silence sort of envelopes you and creates a very sublime form of comfort and privacy. And when the night is over, and you see the first tinge of a sunrise and hear the birds wake and the traffic slowly starting to murmur in the streets, you cannot help but wonder, "Damn, we sleep for such a short period of time!"Although well, it feels much much longer when you are alone or when you are sleeping.
And, the phenomena is just amazing. As the world awakes, from being totally aware of your solitude, you start to merge in with the rest of the world. Just another person walking around who is fighting to live, breathe. It is pretty much like the world swallows up your existence.
But you know what? I would like to walk around the streets at 3am again and take a picture in the middle of a junction, just below the traffic light. =)
And on another note, the small things really do count to brighten up your day. This is a little late, but I saw this when I ordered my much loved Meatball Marinara from Ion Subway last week after Japanese class.
Needless to say, I think the person who wrote it loves Meatball Marinara too. :D
And yes, I am guilty of sneaking a smiley face once or twice whenever its quiet on a Starbucks cup listed with a Caramel Macchiato.
I guess what goes around really does come around.
On the same topic, the small things in life really do make a difference. Just the mere act of plonking my ass down somewhere with a good book (Brent Weeks, I love you!) , my favourite drink and warm food makes my day. There's something curiously satisfying about ploughing through a 653 page book in 6 hours and having all you need around you, i.e Food, drink and music.
It never fails to surprise me when I tear myself away from the world of imagination and realise where I am. Yet, it is comforting at the same time.
Definitely more of such days to come. I have been doing this for a very, very, long time and I think it is time to go back to such a lifestyle and churn out more creative juices.
I think I have finally snapped. A small screaming part of me has exploded internally and everyone else has been moping up the mess, holding up signs that read "Nothing to see" while wearing their best poker face. As I mentioned earlier, all the self-hatred and the frustration has reached a point where I cannot stand myself anymore and my mind goes through a complete defragmentation process. That explains the bangs. I just could not stand myself anymore. Although I still cannot when I look in the mirror, at least I am starting to get used to it. The healing starts now.
As a note to future-me, take this as a major lesson learnt. Even when shit happens, never, ever drag yourself down along with it as you struggle to find a drainage plug. Because most of the time there really is not one. And, although many people tell you this, and you yourself know it deep down inside but yet ignore it, it is simply not worth it. Why should you give a shit even when the odds are so obviously against you? Never, ever, ever let anyone hold your leash. Nobody should be close enough ever again to let you sink so low. Because my dear, you only have 9 lives and out of the 9, you have already used 7. God is up there laughing at you and calling you a noob. Unless you play the game really well and God up there decides to rank you "A" and give you a bonus life, you are as they say, fucked. Haha, laife ish pwnz joo.
Life will definitely be different from now.
But hey, I will definitely live to blog another day.
and, as they say, "If you want something so badly in your life with all your heart and soul, the world will conspire with you to get it." but at the same time, "If it is meant to be yours, you will never lose it."
Zum ersten mal alleine in unserem versteck
Ich seh' noch unsere namen an der wand
Uund wisch' sie wieder weg
Ich wollt' dir alles anvertrauen
Warum bist du abgehauen
Komm zurück, Nimm mich mit
Time to end off this post with some quote-worthy lines fresh from intoxicated brains!
"Shoot, shag, marry - Superman, Batman, Spiderman."
Ans: "I will shoot Superman, because he won't die, and I will shag Spiderman because he's only good for 1 fuck, and marry Batman because he's Batman."
"Shoot, shag, marry - Legolas, Aragorn, Gandalf"
Ans: "Shoot Legolas - cause he's gay, shag Gandalf - cause he uses contraceptive (YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!), and marry Aragorn (no explanation required)."
"Shoot, shag, marry - Lee, Kuan, Yew"
Ans: Shoot Yew. (Pun ftw!)
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