A thought from the bath
A THOUGHT FROM THE BATH:
10 top reasons why I regret being born a girl:
1. Once your face resembles the craters on the moon, your face is an insult to the world
2. Sitting with your leg up is distasteful unless you got super hot underwear
3. "Fuck" and "Tmd" is ousted from your vocabulary as it is only "uncivilised ah lians" who say it. A more polite way to expel anger is to go with safe unsatisfying words such as "Oh, drat" or "Oh, no"
4. If you chase a guy, you're labelled as 'despo' but if a guy chases you, he's being a healthy 'hot-blooded male'
5.You have to starve to remain slim and gorgeous - exercising to work off that extra fat will only risk making you another she-Arny in which case, will SAG when you're old
6. It's demoralising when you're FLAT. Even if you're not 'up to size' as a guy, ITS NOT OBVIOUS TO THE PUBLIC! Oh and if you're too big, people seem to forget where your face is and superimpose it on your chest instead.
7.It's not easy to style your hair - a magic touch of gatsby will only make you look like you were caught up in einstein's explosion
8.If you're unlucky and born hairy, too bad girl its either shave or wax ( whoever said that more hair = fertility?!
9.For a week once every month, you'll feel like the reincarnation of Godzilla without the tail but probably with the claws and the sensation like you're 10 months pregnant. Oh, and nobody seems to understand you until you yell it out 'I'M PMSING DAMMIT'
10.You worry when your boobs is going to reach the floor or if there's a random rapist following you everywhere in little dark corners with a little badge that says: "You should have listened to daddy and went home earlier"
Top 10 reasons why I'm glad I'm a girl:
1. Nobody can force me to do anything by saying: "HEY! Do the right thing! BE A WOMAN!"
2. I can dress up as a guy or a girl whenever, wherever I want. (I'd like to see a guy try to wear a skirt in places outside of Scotland HA)
3. I don't have to fear becoming broke cause of V-day cause I'm at the receiving end HAHAHA
4. Even if I'm born to look like the offspring of barney and michael jackson, I can always look like another Jessica Alba with the wonders of makeup! (ok maybe not as gorgeous, but at least pleasant enough to stop people from regurgitating on sidewalks)
5. I can go up to any of my friends and whine about how life sucks without worrying about people calling me a wuss or a gay (sorry sensitive term but I have to use it here in a GUY'S Point of view)
6. If you've lost something or need help, its easier to get help from people!
7. We don't have to worry about getting bashed up in school. We just have to watch out for vicious rumours about our virginity or hate mails that turn up at our table
8. It's possible to make guys do anything you want ( provided you're a really skilled drama-mama vixen)
9. I don't have to go through the gruelling torture of NS
10. Just holler 'I GOT CRAMPS' and the discussion of why you're not doing PE or why you skipped school ends immediately there. No elaboration is needed.
10 top reasons why I regret being born a girl:
1. Once your face resembles the craters on the moon, your face is an insult to the world
2. Sitting with your leg up is distasteful unless you got super hot underwear
3. "Fuck" and "Tmd" is ousted from your vocabulary as it is only "uncivilised ah lians" who say it. A more polite way to expel anger is to go with safe unsatisfying words such as "Oh, drat" or "Oh, no"
4. If you chase a guy, you're labelled as 'despo' but if a guy chases you, he's being a healthy 'hot-blooded male'
5.You have to starve to remain slim and gorgeous - exercising to work off that extra fat will only risk making you another she-Arny in which case, will SAG when you're old
6. It's demoralising when you're FLAT. Even if you're not 'up to size' as a guy, ITS NOT OBVIOUS TO THE PUBLIC! Oh and if you're too big, people seem to forget where your face is and superimpose it on your chest instead.
7.It's not easy to style your hair - a magic touch of gatsby will only make you look like you were caught up in einstein's explosion
8.If you're unlucky and born hairy, too bad girl its either shave or wax ( whoever said that more hair = fertility?!
9.For a week once every month, you'll feel like the reincarnation of Godzilla without the tail but probably with the claws and the sensation like you're 10 months pregnant. Oh, and nobody seems to understand you until you yell it out 'I'M PMSING DAMMIT'
10.You worry when your boobs is going to reach the floor or if there's a random rapist following you everywhere in little dark corners with a little badge that says: "You should have listened to daddy and went home earlier"
Top 10 reasons why I'm glad I'm a girl:
1. Nobody can force me to do anything by saying: "HEY! Do the right thing! BE A WOMAN!"
2. I can dress up as a guy or a girl whenever, wherever I want. (I'd like to see a guy try to wear a skirt in places outside of Scotland HA)
3. I don't have to fear becoming broke cause of V-day cause I'm at the receiving end HAHAHA
4. Even if I'm born to look like the offspring of barney and michael jackson, I can always look like another Jessica Alba with the wonders of makeup! (ok maybe not as gorgeous, but at least pleasant enough to stop people from regurgitating on sidewalks)
5. I can go up to any of my friends and whine about how life sucks without worrying about people calling me a wuss or a gay (sorry sensitive term but I have to use it here in a GUY'S Point of view)
6. If you've lost something or need help, its easier to get help from people!
7. We don't have to worry about getting bashed up in school. We just have to watch out for vicious rumours about our virginity or hate mails that turn up at our table
8. It's possible to make guys do anything you want ( provided you're a really skilled drama-mama vixen)
9. I don't have to go through the gruelling torture of NS
10. Just holler 'I GOT CRAMPS' and the discussion of why you're not doing PE or why you skipped school ends immediately there. No elaboration is needed.
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