It's about around this time that the weight of the semester comes crashing down on you. It's stifling, stressful, but yet there's still undercurrents of excitement running beneath all these negative emotions.

When I'm on holiday, I get excited about taking new modules next sem. When I'm in Semester time, I get excited about holidays. It's truly a vicious cycle.

But as for now, ironically enough, dance is keeping me going. Why ironic? Because its dance that's taking up all my time and causing me stress because I don't have time to study or even, do my tutorials for that matter. But I think, without dance, and with constant workload and all, my life would be so dull to the max that I would get too depressed to do anything. Its been well established that I cannot be a robot of society. Which is why, I need work too.

I'm fickle like that. Can't have too much of something, can't have too little of another. During those 9 months before uni, I swear I was so sick of work because there was nothing but work and play (PS2/Ds/online gaming). The element of learning was missing and there were some days where I felt like such a useless vessel.

And as much as I may whine about never having enough time for myself or other things, a combination of learning, play and work is still the ultimate combination for me.

Wow, I do think I'm pretty self-destructive.