Blink 182. (IMY)

There's just so many emotions rushing at me at once that I can't really focus on a single one. I probably could name all of them but I won't.

And none of them are positive.

I read something on facebook today. Something about toast. And someone told me something about how relationships are just like a decayed tooth. When you go for an extraction, it hurts like fuck and you start to wonder if you had made the right choice in doing so. You hesitate, you think about how easy it is just to continue to leave it there and just not look yourself in the mirror. And once the tooth is gone, the pain becomes something that is very numb. Even if many years after that the pain is gone, your tongue will roll over that empty spot, remember that feeling of something missing, and learn to ache all over again.

The truth of that statement is really indisputable.

Even just hours after, I still wonder if my choices were right. I wonder how long it would take for the pain to go away. And somewhere deep down, I feel the numbness creeping out all over again from the cage which I locked it up in immediately after As.

During dinner I got so pissed off, I amazed myself. It's been a while since I have felt so angry to the extent that I want to flip tables and morph into Godzilla, trample over the little people running away screaming on the ground, and snap at all those annoying aircrafts and helicopters with their damn search lights. When was the last time that I got so pissed off?

I bet I looked something like this. Just eating. Which probably made me look a lot worse.


And I thought I had good self-control.