Too fast, too furious

Too many things happened in too little time.

Once again, I feel like I'm working on overload.

When the odds are against you.

Thurs to Fri: Burnt midnight oil doing the fucking lit video, only to have it completely dismissed as a 'glossy mtv video' and despite all our efforts, we're back to square one : being stupid student helpers for Lit Evening. Which, I am totally boycotting. So much for honouring your side of the bargain. No sense in paying $18 to them and giving them free labour. That's like, a prostitute giving her customer all her money and even asking him for her to be his maid.

No thanks.

And I resent the term "MTV video". I'm astonished you guys are lit teachers cause you all did not seem to understand the deviant emotive photographs I used and brushed them off as 'jazzed up images'.. and the most ironic thing I want to laugh about is the dismissal of a certain someone's poem as "senseless" when it was a lit teacher herself who recommended it cause it was good. Sorry, but I happen to take great pride in my work and such a thing like that is seriously insulting.

So basically, everyone's effort was for nothing.

Perfect.

Sat: Had dance at O School. Then met up with TheBoy, had my favourite rice balls, stuffed myself silly with chocolates and went to his house where we had steamboat with his family and stuffed myself with more chocolate. We watched AlienVSPredator on his iMac too and its quite a disappointment... AVP1 was better. Took a cab back.

Sun: Mother's Day! Me, BraBoy and Barney split the bill for a lunch at Din Tai Feng as we were treating our Mums. Good food but wa lao... $100 bill. Eeek. I feel the hole in my pocket expanding! After that, went to the PinkPrawn's house to borrow her dress for my cousin's wedding this saturday and caught up with her for a bit. I love her dog! Then, dropped off a very very very belated present to a friend's house just next door and went home for dinner and anime-ed the whole night long.

Today: Had heart pains in the middle of GP and decided to leave school to rest. Went to dad's clinic and caught up with the stallholders around his clinic because I have not seen them in 4 years. Aunty XiaoYun treated me to bubble tea and cheese fries, Provision shop uncle treated me to sweets and my favourite tidbit (onion rings!) and the herbal store Uncle had a chat with me for a while. I feel loved (:

It's good to be cute when you were a kid.

Came home, watched 27 dresses with Barney and anime-ed till now.

These few days I've really been lapsing into Escapism mode. It's like, I really really don't want to go JC anymore. Just sitting in GP today, if you gave me the withdrawal form, I would just sign it and wait till next year to go to poly.

But I'll probably kick myself for that so I didn't entertain that thought for long.

I guess its a build-up of stress and the fact that I don't seem to be doing anything about it. I mean, with what's going on in school, I dread it so badly. Previously, I don't have a reason to go to school but now, I have a reason not to.

And I'm thinking, assuming the world ends in 2012 and all the predictions are correct, then I'm a real swuay bitch and everything's just, wasted. That thought itself is enough to kill you. Ironically enough, as much as I'm currently in limbo right now in finding the meaning to life, I don't really want to die in 2012. Even if my life ain't going to be great, I want to grow up, get married and love others more than I can actually possibly love anyone right now.

Circumstances suffocate you.

And this type of idealistic thinking IS probably going to kill me before 2012. But I still cling onto it so desperately despite all that. I wonder.

Quote of the day: No money, no bloody honey.

Thought of the day: If someone throws a grenade at you in war, you pick it up, swallow it and yell: "I'm coming at you muthafucker!"