Take a bow

Past few days have been filled with nothing but dance.
Everyday its about minimum 8 hours of dance. Yesterday was more than 12 hours.

Am I dying?
Not so.

But am I in pain?
Definitely.

For those who don't know, I've been dancing full out so much that I might have damaged my left knee ligament cause there's probably internal bleeding already (according to the doc in my house). And this just pisses me off even more. I'm not so much upset, just bloody pissed.

Pissed off at myself for being so incompetent. I can't believe something meager like this is actually going to get in my way of doing the best I can. I feel constipated. I want and I need to dance fullout because dancing fullout and knowing that I can inspires me and makes me happy irregardless of how tired it makes me.

But now because of this I can't.

And lots of people are coming to me and telling me that I should just give it up because if I strain it anymore, I could tear my ligament and it'd have lifetime implications. I wish I could agree with them sensibly. But something is keeping me away from rationality and I can't explain it.

Maybe its cause I know that after I graduate from CJ, I'll probably never be able to dance again - even leisurely.

Ryan was right. What are we trying so hard for? Tiring out our bodies, shedding so much sweat and going through the mental pressure and torture of getting everything together?

It's only for that One Moment. The Curtain Call.

For those who have taken part in a stage production, you would understand. For those who don't, in the future you might.

So for those who have been telling me to rest and pull out of the concert, I'm sorry. I can't do that to myself. I'd rather risk injuring myself and going for a knee operation where i'd have to lie in bed for 3 months than dying with regrets scattered throughout my life.

Because that's proof to myself of my existence.

So, let's give the audience a rocking time on Saturday, hey dancers?

Take a bow.