Prediction of the 20th century
Nuuuuu~~ School's started today. Tch.
I know I screwed up my Prelims big time but hey, most - okay all of it, is my fault. Anyway, I went to study today at a different MOS and I heard a group of business people sitting behind me talking because they were talking as if each had a pillow stuffed up in their ear.
The point is, they weren't having a conversation. They were having a Cornvasation.
1: "Wah lao I weally kennut tahan her already! Evridae she... (breaks down into caveman language)"
And it made me think about how I always have the unfortunate pleasure of meeting such people online - well, usually they're shouting at each other over something stupid or twitting cause its cute. But the point is, it seems like the standard of English, though an improvement from immediate post-Colonial times, have started to drop. I know I don't speak Queen's english and my GP marks are only worth to be turned into scrap paper but you can't help but notice.
Just go to the standard food court. This is a sign you will see.
You might say its for convenience purposes but with the notable breakdown of the English language nowadays, I'm not surprised if one day there will be signs like these around:
I'm playing philosopher now. (wow, does this count as speculative fiction my dear lit teachers?)
I predict that in a few years time when I'm old (oh wait, I am already am) and wrinkly, I'm going to switch on the Teebee one day and this is the National Day Song that's going to play:
"Cow Orn Mee Singarpore~
Cow Orn Mee Tuu Gib My Breast And More~"
People, pronounce your words. And twitters, ST0pXx TwItTinGgxX because one day EuUuX wIlL T0KkxZ LyYkk DiiSxx TuuUu - Sh0Xx KaWaIixX NeHx?
Be afraid, be very, very afraid. I don't want to look back at society when I'm 50 (if I ever live that long) and see a culture meant only for troglodytes.
TWO. Please improve on your signs man.
This is your regular sign at the MRT. But take a look at how many interpretations I can come up with. Why can't we have those nice little comic-like signs that tell you not to shove your nose into the MRT door or squat on the toilet bowl because you'll lose your $1000 Gucci shoes and get your foot slobbered in faeces?
Please Give way to :
1. Phedophiles (compliments from Sam)
2. Dwarf men with another adult
3. Or people... doing something weird.
Please give way to:
1. Fat people
2. People who just had their meal
3. Women with saggy boobs
4. Fat Cross-dressing men
5. A Pregnant Male
6. Men with saggy boobs
Please give way to:
1. Cane tap-dancers
2. Old people ONLY IF THEY HAVE A CANE
3. A person with a huge ass candy cane running the marathon to Diabetes
4. Santa Clause
Anyway I'm just picking on the signs for the sake of it because me and Sam were looking at it one day and started laughing at it. Don't take me seriously - no, really.
But I think most of the signs don't work. Singaporeans are too busy pretending to sleep (or checking out the cleavage of the babe sitting next to them), to be blind or suddenly grew an ass big enough and heavy enough to rival JLO's that gravity somehow has a tremendous pull on them.
Maybe in the future when English has given way to Eengwish or Eengrish or Engish, the signs would change to something like this:
Gee, I don't know. Don't sue me for this. I'm just giving my 5-cent's worth.
Prediction of the century: One day the Aunties will rise up and conquer the world.
I know I screwed up my Prelims big time but hey, most - okay all of it, is my fault. Anyway, I went to study today at a different MOS and I heard a group of business people sitting behind me talking because they were talking as if each had a pillow stuffed up in their ear.
The point is, they weren't having a conversation. They were having a Cornvasation.
1: "Wah lao I weally kennut tahan her already! Evridae she... (breaks down into caveman language)"
And it made me think about how I always have the unfortunate pleasure of meeting such people online - well, usually they're shouting at each other over something stupid or twitting cause its cute. But the point is, it seems like the standard of English, though an improvement from immediate post-Colonial times, have started to drop. I know I don't speak Queen's english and my GP marks are only worth to be turned into scrap paper but you can't help but notice.
Just go to the standard food court. This is a sign you will see.
You might say its for convenience purposes but with the notable breakdown of the English language nowadays, I'm not surprised if one day there will be signs like these around:
I'm playing philosopher now. (wow, does this count as speculative fiction my dear lit teachers?)
I predict that in a few years time when I'm old (oh wait, I am already am) and wrinkly, I'm going to switch on the Teebee one day and this is the National Day Song that's going to play:
"Cow Orn Mee Singarpore~
Cow Orn Mee Tuu Gib My Breast And More~"
People, pronounce your words. And twitters, ST0pXx TwItTinGgxX because one day EuUuX wIlL T0KkxZ LyYkk DiiSxx TuuUu - Sh0Xx KaWaIixX NeHx?
Be afraid, be very, very afraid. I don't want to look back at society when I'm 50 (if I ever live that long) and see a culture meant only for troglodytes.
TWO. Please improve on your signs man.
This is your regular sign at the MRT. But take a look at how many interpretations I can come up with. Why can't we have those nice little comic-like signs that tell you not to shove your nose into the MRT door or squat on the toilet bowl because you'll lose your $1000 Gucci shoes and get your foot slobbered in faeces?
Please Give way to :
1. Phedophiles (compliments from Sam)
2. Dwarf men with another adult
3. Or people... doing something weird.
Please give way to:
1. Fat people
2. People who just had their meal
3. Women with saggy boobs
4. Fat Cross-dressing men
5. A Pregnant Male
6. Men with saggy boobs
Please give way to:
1. Cane tap-dancers
2. Old people ONLY IF THEY HAVE A CANE
3. A person with a huge ass candy cane running the marathon to Diabetes
4. Santa Clause
Anyway I'm just picking on the signs for the sake of it because me and Sam were looking at it one day and started laughing at it. Don't take me seriously - no, really.
But I think most of the signs don't work. Singaporeans are too busy pretending to sleep (or checking out the cleavage of the babe sitting next to them), to be blind or suddenly grew an ass big enough and heavy enough to rival JLO's that gravity somehow has a tremendous pull on them.
Maybe in the future when English has given way to Eengwish or Eengrish or Engish, the signs would change to something like this:
Gee, I don't know. Don't sue me for this. I'm just giving my 5-cent's worth.
Prediction of the century: One day the Aunties will rise up and conquer the world.
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